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View Full Version : Men are from Mars Women are from Venus (Funny... female input encouraged)


Karmashock
Mar 23, 2005, @ 08:47 AM
http://www.marktaw.com/culture_and_media/ProfMillerAssignment.html
Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? "Well, today we will experiment with a new form called the 'tandem story'. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).

THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,....", he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

(Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary) Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of f*****g TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

(Rebecca) Asshole.

(Gary) Bitch.

(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one. Only group to get an A.

I laughed so hard I cryed...


Does this say something about men and women? Comment.

mOle
Mar 23, 2005, @ 10:24 AM
"Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of f*****g TEA? ??

HAHAHA!

:rofl: this was realy funny man

one thing it says is that woman is boring, loving "peace keeping" and we men are just plain childish withour space travels such as eve :P ... but we are looking forward! into the future'

...i dont know...

Papa Smurf
Mar 23, 2005, @ 10:40 AM
thats cool, mades me laugh.

amir
Mar 23, 2005, @ 10:46 AM
"Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of f*****g TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
:rofl:
Thats a tipicle boy and girl situation.

Rubba Duck
Mar 23, 2005, @ 10:53 AM
:lol: :oohoo: :rofl:
its good how their writing styles are completely the opposite and how they keep contradicting eachother all the time.

The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live

who paired those two up!

:rofl:

Karmashock
Mar 23, 2005, @ 11:03 AM
guys, you're making it hard for the ladies to respond... and on that note I'm actually interested... if I weren't, I would have just put this in comedy.

Larsson7
Mar 23, 2005, @ 11:09 AM
:lol: I found this funny...




















4 years ago.

Karmashock
Mar 23, 2005, @ 11:18 AM
you read this 4 years ago?... where?

Rubba Duck
Mar 23, 2005, @ 11:44 AM
using my terdis
300th Post!

Larsson7
Mar 23, 2005, @ 12:13 PM
you read this 4 years ago?... where?

http://neko.mi.org/~tawollen/humor/msg01294.html

This is when it started circulating - 1997

Biggest repost in the history of the internet.

You fail.

JADezimar
Mar 23, 2005, @ 02:24 PM
lASSon7
This is when it started circulating - 1997

Biggest repost in the history of the internet.

YOU FAIL.

Lassi just mad Karma entertained people?

It was obviously new to the rest of us, let us AND karma have our fun.

JADezimar
Mar 23, 2005, @ 02:31 PM
lASSon7
This is when it started circulating - 1997

Biggest repost in the history of the internet.

You Fail.

Lassi just mad Karma entertained people?

It was obviously new to the rest of us, let us AND karma have our fun.

Papa Smurf
Mar 23, 2005, @ 02:41 PM
JAD now what a you gibbering about, you seem to have some sort of issue with lasson, i suspect it maybe you deep seated love of him, and the homosexual fantasies you have about him, all he siad was he had read it before, Karma asked when, and Larson answered.

all seems fair enough till JAD (you) posts

now i bet i can piss highest up this wall, anyone care to disagree?

Lt_Omega
Mar 23, 2005, @ 03:03 PM
guys, you're making it hard for the ladies to respond... and on that note I'm actually interested... if I weren't, I would have just put this in comedy.

And how many ladies would there be in the TLSC?
Last time i counted; there were only 2 (actively using the forums.)

Karmashock
Mar 23, 2005, @ 03:38 PM
all he siad was he had read it before, Karma asked when, and Larson answered.
I think what got him going was the cheap shot that larsson put at the end of his post... the "you fail" comment. I ignored it... he's been littering the board with cheap shots... I guess I fucked his sister or something and then stopped calling... who knows where these people come from...

He's currently been granted the rank of cumpuppet in my book... if he says something crazy or over the top then I'll respond... otherwise I'll generally ignore him...
===================================
And how many ladies would there be in the TLSC?
Last time i counted; there were only 2 (actively using the forums.)
that only strengthen's my point. Don't make it harder for them to post here by filling the thread with a lot of "women are stupid" posts. :disagree:

JADezimar
Mar 23, 2005, @ 04:07 PM
I wub you too papa.