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View Full Version : Stories of Computer Stupidity!


Bentusi
Jan 10, 2005, @ 01:08 AM
A thread was needed where we could swap stories about computer stupidity, the only rule being it has to be something you personally experianced.

I'll start with 3 Stories:

Story 1) Why I Hate Gateway:

My first two computers were gateways, and they were both shit. They were incredibly unstable, frequently crashing, and kept breaking CD-ROMs. Not to mention the customer support at Gateway is horrendous.
So, I end up going on a vacation for a week. When I come home the computer wont start, no boot no nothing. Well this isn't too surprising, so I take it over to their store (after wasting 5 hours of my life on tech support confirming the computer is broken GAH), where I will have to wait A MONTH until they look at it.

The Diagnosis: Total Catastrophic Failure. I gave up and bought a dell.

Story 2) When Anti-Virus goes bad.

I was installing a Black Ice firewall on my sisters computer (which I had built) for this story. Now, Black Ice has a feature that monitors the programs running on your computer and will inform you when it detects a non-registered program running. I had installed it and it was compileing a directory of the programs on the computer, when the computer crashed (hey it was my 1st attempt, who said it would be perfect). So I boot it up again and get into windows, I assume that the installation wasn't finished and so I have to install everything again. Boy was I wrong.

Low and behold, there before me is a popup telling me AIM.exe is attempting to run, should I let it? AIM.exe was a startup app on her computer. I quickly get 5 more for the other startup apps. By this point i'm getting slightly anxious, because apparently the anti-virus didn't log anything. My worst fears were realized when I got a cascade of windows saying that RUN32.dll was attempting to run, should I let it?

For those of you who can't guess it, RUN32.dll was the program generating the queries I was getting. So what happended was I ended up in a continuous loop which would reach in the hundreds of thousands before I was forced to restart. I battled the damn thing for about 2 hours. I tried to go in and delete critical files.. guess what: "Delete.exe is attempting to run, should I allow it??", and no, pressing yes did not work.

I ended up having to figure out how to get into safe mode without a manuel and killing it from there, by the end I was just happy I didn't have to format it.

Story 3) Well, I guess the voltage DOES matter.

So, I'm building my 2nd computer, which was supposed to be mine. I've put everything in correctly, so I attempt to power it up. It doesn't boot. So I routinely check everything again, yes everything is plugged in, no I haven't left of any jumpers, yes the jumpers are on there right.. etc. So then I try and boot again.

It doesn't. By now I'm getting frustrated because I AM computer literate and know everything is set up right. But I check over everything again and try and boot. Doesn't work. By now I feel like throwing this thing out my window, but I end up flicking the power on and of for a while. Then I get the BRILLIANT (or so it seemed at the time) of changing the voltage! I try it and it boots for about 3 seconds, then crashes. By now I'm seriously pissed off, but I try AGAIN.

It gets to the boot sequence and then I hear some cracking sounds (not good), then smoke begins pouring out of my computer (definately not good). I quickly yank out the power cord and take it to where it WONT burn down the house (after setting off the fire alarm).

The Bentusi Diagnosis: I had a crap mobo to begin with, flipping the voltage probably made it worse and fried it more, and my 2nd attempt set the damn thing on fire, yes.. it was burning. Amazingly enough all my other cards and proc survived.

The Ironic part? My new mobo has a handy orange light on it to tell you when the power is on, and my 1st boot sequence I had it mounted but the side casing's open so I could see inside.

It booted perfectly, but the orange light gave me a heart attack because I thought I had set it on fire again :lol:

Karmashock
Jan 10, 2005, @ 01:26 AM
... you should pay someone to deal with your computer from now on...

My cousin is far worse... he keeps thinking he's an expert... but he's seriously jinxed... I have no clue what he does to computers... but they all explode when he gets near them... blue screens of death on totally stable machines that never have them... security systems going corrupt after a few minutes... shortouts...

I could go on... but he'd seriously be a good warhead against an enemy nation's computer grid... just shoot him near their stuff and I wouldn't trust it to last more then a few minutes before being horribly messed up.

Bentusi
Jan 10, 2005, @ 02:24 AM
actually I am fairly good with computers.

It's just I occaisionally buy pieces of shit (gateway/mobo) or stuff goes horribly horribly wrong

Tigre
Jan 10, 2005, @ 04:07 AM
My brother and I tried to build a rig for him. Second one I ever built. We bought a MB/CPU combo, $249 on sale that was a screamin deal! Procceeded to install it in his case and all looked good. Then the damn thing won't boot. We try everything, thinking it must be memory, we return the memory we bought. Install the newer memory and same thing. We look all over the case to see if we missed a connection somewhere or maybe installed the MB wrong. Nope, all looks good. Try again, nothing...ok, must be the MB, so we take it back along with the processor, they test it and processor was not working, phew and we thought it was us....so we get new MB/CPU and install it again...no go, wtf now. So, we head back to the store and return the MB/CPU one more time..cpu is dead again...Thank god for Fry's return policy...so we think it must be the combo that is too cheap, so we buy a better MB and CPU, adds $250 more. Install it again and before my brother installs it I check the case one more time and noticed he installed one of the MB posts in the wrong spot! The MB post has been fucking shorting out the proc!! All I can say is thanks for Fry's return policy or we would have been out like $1400.

Bentusi
Jan 10, 2005, @ 04:22 AM
lol.

Reminds me of the numerous occaisions I would take my Gateways appart and procede to fix them myself (better success rate then tech support), thereby vioding the warrenty.

I conviently 'forgot' this when I had to turn if back in.. MUAHAHA

Karmashock
Jan 10, 2005, @ 06:07 AM
About once a year my computer has some big issues...

Never have found a problem... however, if I take the whole thing appart and put it back together... everything magically works perfecty...


My guess is that it's the gitters or giggles or whatever that's called.

the components get hot and cold over and over causing the metal to expand and contract... that causes the parts to slowly but surely come become lose.

So just pushing everything into it's socket a bit more firmly would likely do it all by itself... but taking all appart and putting it back together works too... :)

tom
Jan 10, 2005, @ 07:21 AM
hmm, cant think of any stupid computer things I've done :D

Karmashock
Jan 10, 2005, @ 07:39 AM
I was fixing a girl's cdrom and she freaked out at me half way through... she was like "ARE YOU CRAZY, THE LASER WILL BURN YOU!"... My internal monologue read "moron"... Outside, I smiled in a friendly sort of way and said "nah, it's safe"...

I could tangent this off into a related story about drunken sex... but that didn't have anything to do with computers.

LardGibs
Jan 10, 2005, @ 12:34 PM
I had a very difficult time fighting with a Soyo Dragon Ultra Platinum before I finally RMA'd the bitch after 40 hours. It was just plain bugged and ugly, raid controller bios didn't play nice with the rest of the shit on there.

Moral: some ChinaTaiwan companies sell straight into retail channel w/o testing, you do the testing. That probably explains your fire right there Bent.

Stupidest thing I ever did was blow up a 250 W PC power supply trying to convert it to run my peltier waterblock. The mosfet exploded and it sounded like a gunshot, magic blue smoke everywhere :D.

Karmashock
Jan 10, 2005, @ 01:12 PM
CDW is a good company to buy from... they have a really good tech support department... and they'll test any of your stuff... they're also cheap and have pretty much everything...


I loves them.

Shackled Phoenix
Jan 13, 2005, @ 09:09 AM
I buy a laptop from best buy made by a company known as VPR matrix. I'd read some good things and suddenly come into quite a bit of money i needed to spend fast. so heya! laptop! I knew laptops were prone to breakdowns and expensive repairs so i said WtF, and bought the 3 year best buy warranty. LOL on that. 2 months down the road it breaks down. I'm pretty well literate in keeping my PC's running smoothly, so i check it out, no driver problems nothing like that (i forget exactly what went wrong) so i deduce it's hardware problems. I take it into best buy, and the guy goes "oh... i'll need to scan it" i'm like WTF but okay, an hour later the scan FINALLY finishes and it shows my PC 100% okay. so he declares it a hardware problem and ships it off to their tech center in cincinatti. 1.5 months later it comes back... still sufffering fromt he same problem, so once again i send it back in. 2 fucking months later it comes back, works fine for a week, then randomly begins restarting itself. I send it in. 2 MORE months later i get it back. it's STILL randomly restarting it's goddamn self! by now they've replaced like 7 different parts in the damn thing, including upgrades to some part (doubled my RAM and put a better proc/mobo in it.) so i send it back one more time. This time due to best buy's warrenty policy, they trash the damn thing and tell me to go get a new one.

thankfully after a total of 9 months, counting the period inbetween repairs, the company no longer produced the laptop, and i was therefore given my choice of a laptop for the same price. I walked out with a compaq presario nearly double the power of my VPR matrix. I've had it since, using it now, and the only problems i've had with it is the cooling system sucks so if i'm not careful to ventilate it, it overheats.

other comp stupidity includes:

I have repaired my best friends PC over 17 times, it's still broken with some new problem i now choose to ignore. ( i FIXED the problems, he just always managed to create new ones)

when i changed numbers with my DSL i got some crosstalk on the line, causing my connection to reset whenever someone got on the crossed line, which was quite often. after 4 tried to SBC tech support, i learned to to always ask for advanced solutions from now on.
Stupid solutions i recieved include but are not limited to. Is your modem plugged in? are you using the DSL adaptor? if so remove the adaptor and plug straight into wall. Are you using a DSL adaptor? please plug it into the adaptor as it will not work without it. and my favorite Is your modem on the floor? carpet will cause a static discharge in your modem.

The Fell Hand
Jan 13, 2005, @ 11:36 AM
Yeah uh...I'd have to say, i'm good friends with a compaq tech support worker, and they're not allowed to tell you all the things compaq has done wrong with their laptops. What model is it? i'll ask him about what you should look out for. Lol carpet.

Shackled Phoenix
Jan 13, 2005, @ 03:54 PM
It doesn't really matter, it's grown dated and isn't really able to play newer games at this point, so pretty soon i'm going to rebuild my desktop and this thing won't matter.

but anyways it's a presario 2500

Polaris
Jan 22, 2005, @ 12:19 AM
VPR matrix is teh sux, im just glad it was my friend who found out, and not me... lol

my stories? most of them involve windows being retarded, me giving up on self-support, calling them, connecting with India (i lub yous guys, but you just dont speak the language)
[side-story]
tech: "ok, so what's your product key"
me: "blahblahblah.. BRAVO...blahblahblah"
tech: "blahblahblah.. CHARLIE-"
me: "-no, BRAVO"
tech: "tango?"
me: "no, BRAVO"
tech: "alpha?"
... etc, for about 3 minutes
[/side-story]
giving up on them, recalling, getting somewhere in Nova Scotia (you guys pwn, btw) spending 2 hours with him / her, and having to reinstall windows. great.
ie: when windows said i didnt have a graphics card plugged in
or: when windows said i had only one CD-R when BIOS said i had a CD-R and a CD-RW...

and then! when i got my new mobo, it wouldnt even boot up- no beeps, no nothin'
went back to the store i got it from, and after being swarmed by about 10 guys (they had no customers at the time, and nothing better to do) one of em pointed out my AMD mobo needed a P4 connector.... which, of course, constituted the purchase of a new PS... lol

Fragman
Jan 22, 2005, @ 05:54 AM
Never set your pc to the year 3004 not by accident or anything because it’s a fucked up thing took me a whole day to realize that was y pc wouldn’t let me do shit period nothing couldn't even delete a file

Juggalo
Jan 26, 2005, @ 03:46 PM
I used to have a very shitty Compaq, my first computer. Well, the disc tray did this thing where you push the eject button on the tower and it would come out for about half a second then shoot back in. So one day I said fuck it and pressed the eject button and held onto the the damn thing. I was yelling at it and shit. Then I let go and procedded to get out my Star Craft disc, but the damn thing closed again... I go get my hammer and push the eject button and as soon as it came out I hit that thing as hard as I possibly could.


Turns out my part of my keyboard was jammed up under the desk. The elect button was always being pushed. But I dont know why it never opened in, only closed it... 0_o

Self pwnt...