Fucking Drunk

[MVB]

I'm fucking drunk, and I'm also THE fucking pimp of all pimps. Remind me to explain when Im sober.

zzz

[Larsson7]

Drunk threads kick ass!!

God knows I have made my share of drnken posts :noshen:

[MVB]

uuhhh, the morning

strippers + mvb + pimp^2 + MVB has a gf = MVB's friends consistently get girls handed off to them from MVB while MVB gets drunker and drunker

I r teh drinking, macking king

[Flo]

MouHaHaHaaa !! Happy New year MVB !! :toast:

I'll drink to that :drink:

[Larsson7]

uuhhh, the morning

strippers + mvb + pimp^2 + MVB has a gf = MVB's friends consistently get girls handed off to them from MVB while MVB gets drunker and drunker

I r teh drinking, macking king

When we meet up I am gonna drink your lame ass under the table. oh and pif strippers k thx

[MVB]

friends bachelor party ... he wantecf strippers

[ebev]

LOL man And I thought you didnet like strip clubs! heh You missed a great run through Gremoigan, But Sounds like you had a great time. hehe

[MVB]

meh, I actually didn't like the strippers; I chatted the hell out of the waitresses; I think the not watching them nude 2 feet from me part pissed 'em off or made 'em feel insecure, or they just tried harder, b/c they kept comin' over to me and straddling me and like giving me backrubs and shit to get my attention; didn't work, but afterward 2 of them asked me to walk them out to their cars as my buddies were leaving (9/10ths of the crowd was old fat men); we got out to the cars and I literally let my buddies edge up and take the hit for me; BOTH of them got to make out with these chicks for like ... oh, 5-10 minutes, which is not bad for girls who basically just want you to give them cash; my buddy the bachelor is pretty good with the chicks also, and I literally had to drag him away to save his fuckin' marriage

was fun; strippers don't do it for me; waitresses who are blatantly flirting for tips, but who still show you nip and twat through bending over and really skimpy clothing DO kinda; my gf does it for me most, hence the no-cheat/haxx0ring on her

and finally

I think I'm still drunk

OFF TO WORK

[ebev]

Well strip clubs are just a tease really. I useto go to them alot when i was in the navy but that was overseas strip clubs where you got alot more than a show most of the time. Heh
Beleve it or not the only times i seem to have gone to strip clubs in the past few years were buisness lunches! lol And that was a long time ago.
My wife does it for me.

[ilia]

LoL

proves that every man needs a secondary source of sexual enjoyment other than his primary one. :thumbup

[Outrageous Cheek]

Not for me, I'm not a shit stabber.

Heh, that sounds sick...And wouldnt that like stretch out the....u know what?

That CANT be good.

[Bentusi]

it took you way to long to come to that conlcusion.

If you were a non-fudge packer you would have reacted that way INSTANTLY. But you thought it out.

Fudge packer, don't touch me

:D

[Tigre]

Ahh, reminds me of that old joke:

New pick up line at the gay bars;














Can I push your stool in for ya!? :ass:

[Justice]

Poor MVB.

Poor, poor MVB.

:(

cheers, and
-=</|awesomeparty|\>=-

[DrunkenUno]

I thought this was a thread yelling at me for something

[Justice]

I thought that too, when I first saw the title.

My first thought was, "Drunk owned MVB at poker or something."

Turned out to be quite different.

:|

cheers, and
-=</|awesomeparty|\>=-

[ilia]

lol

Justice: Declaring War on Spam and Strippers.

:P

[RazielDemon]

MVB, do try to remember that there are kids reading these forums when you decide to tell your more sordid stories ;)

[stats]

I'm fucking drunk! and i just snogged the head of our departments daughter (she's 26 and WELL hot!!)

Do you think ill get fired =[

P.S: it was outside his house after i walked her home... I swear he saw it

[CELTIC_2X]

Ahh, reminds me of that old joke:

New pick up line at the gay bars;













Can I push your stool in for ya!? :ass:


that was so funny i realy did cry,

best gay joke ever.

[Tank0]

I'm fucking drunk! and i just snogged the head of our departments daughter (she's 26 and WELL hot!!)

Do you think ill get fired =[

P.S: it was outside his house after i walked her home... I swear he saw it
if you werent to drunk and a good kisser you ll get a raise but when you break up with her you ll get fired . go with the flow ;)

[DrunkenUno]

if you werent to drunk and a good kisser you ll get a raise but when you break up with her you ll get fired . go with the flow ;)

Where the hell have you been buddy!

[Polaris]

MVB, do try to remember that there are kids reading these forums when you decide to tell your more sordid stories ;)
lol!
i love drunk stories!
every now and then my neighbors gather in the middle of the cul de sac and tell their drunken work stories. i go out there, being the only sober one in the entire group, and laugh my f'n ass off! i swear, im gonna avoid getting drunk so i can remember just how funny it is when people do get drunk. lol.
oh well, there's always college on the horizon to break me of that notion....

[Flo]

What has Flo got to do with this ?? :freak:

Hmm ?? Having Funny Thoughts Tank0 ?? :loco:

[Tank0]

lol!
i love drunk stories!
....
i swear, im gonna avoid getting drunk so i can remember just how funny it is when people do get drunk. lol.
oh well, there's always college on the horizon to break me of that notion....
dude did you even read what you typed , granted seeing people drunk is f'ing hilarious but pssst ........ i ve got a tip for ya ........... dont tell noone else ......

GETTING DRUNK YOURSELF IS WAY FUNNIER

disclaimer : any hangover and puking is the responsibilty of the drunken bastard

[laserflip]

lol!
i love drunk stories!
every now and then my neighbors gather in the middle of the cul de sac and tell their drunken work stories. i go out there, being the only sober one in the entire group, and laugh my f'n ass off! i swear, im gonna avoid getting drunk so i can remember just how funny it is when people do get drunk. lol.
oh well, there's always college on the horizon to break me of that notion....

^ nerdiest post ever

[Karmashock]

what sucks is being the one sober guy... cus then you're responsible for all the other drunks... fuck that... my friend phil is always that guy... he fucking hates it, but won't take my advice and just be too drunk to have the job... that's my response when people start asking how much room I have in my car...

I just take a double shot of rum and say "penty of room"... *stagger... stutter*... "want a ride?"... *drool* :D

[Justice]

Karma .. how old are you?

cheers, and
-=</|awesomeparty|\>=-

[Karmashock]

5... *sucks on lolly pop... rum flavored*

[Justice]

Oh ...

You drink and get drunk at age 5?

:wtf:

I don't even want to see what state of inebriation you'd be in stuck in a bar at age 25.

cheers, and
-=</|awesomeparty|\>=-

[Outrageous Cheek]

Here in Swizerland its legal for me to drink or nobody cares....I had a few beers and I was transformed into a giggly bastard. I couldnt stop laughing. Nobody else was...Just me.

..

[Justice]

Oh SHUT UP.

cheers, and
-=</|awesomeparty|\>=-

[MVB]

Chef, the bartender slipped you orange juice and called it a screwdriver; he was laughing at you pretending to be drunk.

:shens:

However, NO shens is, when I last visited Germany/Italy/Austria/Switzerland on a trip, one of the many kids we went with -- a sophomore I think in HS -- wanted to drink, so we gave her screwdrivers made with just orange juice. She .... well, she got REALLY drunk, and it was REALLY funny, and ... well, we were bastages.

[Ummon]

That's typical placebo effect: I remember one high school party when a friend of mine and I gave aspirin dust to two chicks, saying it was cocaine. They had a real trip. Talk of bastards... Btw, I never used drugs in my life, that made the joke even funnier.

[MightyDWC]

Ahh i remember strip clubs. Installing carpet for the owners, never having to pay for a drink. Have pretty pussy contest on the lunch side of the club with my mini-mag. Those were the days. Now I am like MVB. Only one person does it for me. She knows who she is. Muahhhhhhhhhh baby

[stats]

That's typical placebo effect: I remember one high school party when a friend of mine and I gave aspirin dust to two chicks, saying it was cocaine. They had a real trip. Talk of bastards... Btw, I never used drugs in my life, that made the joke even funnier.

Please tell me they didnt snort it... Wouldn't snorting asprin fuck someone up anyway? :freak:

[Ummon]

Well, some local effects might be like those of cocaine in truth (small hemorrage), if one is allergic, but nothing serious.

[stats]

I remember this one party i was at, i was pretty mashed already and i went into to the toilet to see this dude with a line of white powder.. Of course i assumed it was coke and jumped right in.. Before he could tell me it was 2 crushed up pills... OMFG i thought i was gonna die!!! my nose exploded with blood and i have never been that fucked before and never again will i be!

[Ummon]

Infact it's not something I would have done if I hadn't been a 16 year old dork, do not do it guys.

Stats, are you sure it was aspirin? In which case, you might be allergic to aspirin man. But it might have been another sort of pills man.

Btw, coke is bad for the brain.

[CELTIC_2X]

i am nasty, agrersive, moody and a all round mean cunt when i am drunk,

just not someone u wanna spend time with at all.

[stats]

yeah ummon, i know. I gave up all class A's in december, I was going to make it a new year res, but i thought "fuck it, if you have one last taste on ny eve, you'll never quit" - and i meant class A pills, or atleast i think he did. I can hardly remember that night atall - not nice.

[Justice]

I snorted Altoid dust for $20.

Good way to get cheap money. Didn't hurt too much afterwards, either.

cheers, and
-=</|awesomeparty|\>=-

[Magus]

Try that with ginger altoids Justice. Your sinuses will never be the same again.

[Justice]

Peppermint altoids really clear the sinuses.

I think I'm gonna do non-sugared mints, because altoids really made my snot sticky afterwards.

:|


cheers, and
-=</|awesomeparty|\>=-

[Polaris]

ew!

Btw, coke is bad for the brain.
is any drug not?

[Justice]

coke =/= drug, genius.

cheers, and
-=</|AWESOMEPARTY|\>=-

[/<yle]

Coke is cocain you fucktard.

[Justice]

Oh. I just didn't read stat's post carefully enough.

I thought he was referring to the soda ... Coke.

Meh.

cheers, and
-=</|AWESOMEPARTY|\>=-

[/<yle]

You're stupid.

[Polaris]

seconded